My Paper 1
From Mizzou Wiki
Trinity Ojo Aaron Harms English 1000 6/24/08
We watched a video about the issues that students in today’s college environment face. This video covered everything from what we learn to the debt we can acquire while in college. The data came from the online survey he released as well as poling his own classes. The video was created by Michael Wesch and 200 students enrolled in ANTH 200: Intro to Cultural Anthropology at Kansas State University. --maybe a little more interesting beginning--It started as a brain storming exercise on the way students learn, what they need to learn for life, and how our education system fits in with what students need to learn for life, but it ended up being a statement on the issues that students face, as well as a question on who is as fault for an expensive collegiate education system. I think when he made this video it ended up being a statement on students’ way of life today and the fact that these are issues that are not entirely our fault. I did not connect to the video, because my experience is based around athletics. As a scholarship athlete, my issues are different than issues that most students face but some are very similar. People view my college experience as very privileged and one big party, but I work hard for what I have. A question that was asked in this video was “whose fault is it?” Another question that has been posed in class is whose responsibility is it to fix these issues? There is no simple way to pinpoint who is at fault or who should fix it. We are all at fault, and we should all take responsibility and work to fix the issues and make learning more of a focus than I feel it is right now in the university setting. I feel that when Wesch made this video he was trying to ask his students how they felt about school and what obstacles they faced with just attending college. I don’t think he thought the project was going to be as big as it turned out to be. Wesch later opened an online poll where he found that there are many other students that face the same issues all over. Many of the issues that were found were economical. What I got from the video was that we seem to have more money, but it is still not enough. Many people were in debt for school but had the money to pay for IPods and expensive laptops.--Use some more video statistics to prove point.-- Many people were in debt but don’t go to class. I know that a survey such as this one could contradict itself just because the questions are so all over the place, but I have seen the contradictions from my peers. Most of the people I know have state of the art laptops and take out loans for classes. I have to ask myself with all of the computers on campus why is it so important to have laptop? People say they are taking notes on it, but I have almost never seen the person in front of me with a notes page up. It is usually Facebook or Myspace. When I watched the video I saw my peers. Many of the problems talked about I have heard of and seen happen, but I just have not experienced them. My parents talk of a time when they worked their way through college as waiters and library staff, but today you can’t work your way through unless you have a professional job that you wouldn’t be able to get without a degree in the first place. I think when Wesch heard these problems it took him to a time when he was starting out in college and could have worked his way through and computers were so expensive and complicated that people would almost rather write than buy one. I was not born in that time, so I don’t know firsthand, but I have heard the stories of my parents’ and teachers’ college days. Their experiences were very different from today’s students.--I suggest to add more material from video--
I personally did not connect with the video. I have not experienced the issues of this video. I do believe they exist, but as a student athlete, the university takes on the financial issues. I don’t think the data was 100% accurate, because the polls Wesch did could not reach the wide variety of college students. He did an internet pole and a class poll. There are many different groups on college campuses and not all of them would have access to those polls. Not everyone takes his class, and not everyone would have access to the online polls. I don’t know how he made these polls known to people, but if he didn’t advertise there is no guarantee that every college student knew about this online poll. I don’t think he took in to consideration that there are many different types of people on campus .There are people with wealthy families, people on scholarship, people on loans, people in debt, etc. People come from all over, so there is no way he could have reached out to all the groups on campus.--A more transitional but clear cut conclusion, try a different last sentence--
Aaron's peer review-- I really liked the paper, especially the connection between the video and your life. You had a clear cut argument and it was an easy paper to follow and understand. You also had great ways to back up your argument. The only changes I would say to do is to put a little more video material in the paper and maybe a small change to the conclusion.
Colin's Notes I like your personal analysis of Wesch's video, I think it is interesting how as a student athlete you have different problems than the normal student. I also agree with you point about people's spending habits and priorities. I also doubt Wesch's "facts" and data, were the facts derived from the polls he conducted? If so, he excluded a huge group of students, such as students going to community colleges and trade schools. However, I don't really know what your thesis is and you don't mention cultural literacy or competence....PS I'm adopted too! whee!
Part 2
Trinity Ojo Aaron Harms English 1000 6/24/08 When I began my freshman year last semester I was really scared I wouldn’t be able to keep up. I went to my first class and noticed almost everyone had a laptop and was looking at either MySpace or Facebook. I thought college must be easy if you can just get on your computer and not listen to the teacher. I don’t have a laptop and athletics requires me to be in class unless my coach has excused me to miss, so I had no choice but to listen to the teachers. Time came to do our first group project and I was able to work with other students. The first thing I noticed was that no one else in my group remembered what the teacher said about the project due dates or most of the content. I knew because I had nothing better to do but listen to the teacher. Michael Wesch and 200 students enrolled in ANTH 200 (is ANTH 200 and Intro to Cultural Anthropology the same thing?) : Intro to Cultural Anthropology at Kansas State University created a video that addressee this issue as well as many others that involve the college environment ; however, as a student athlete my college life is very different from other students. This video covered everything from what we learn to the debt we can acquire while in college. The data came from the online survey he released as well as poling his own classes. It started as a brain storming exercise on the way students learn, what they need to learn for life, and how our education system fits in with what students need to learn for life, but it ended up being a statement on the issues that students face, as well as a question on who is as fault for an expensive collegiate education system. I think when he made this video it ended up being a statement on students’ way of life today and the fact that these are issues that are not entirely our fault.
I did not connect to the video, because my experience is based around athletics. As a scholarship athlete, my issues are different than issues that most students face but some are very similar. People view my college experience as very privileged and one big party, but I work hard for what I have. A question that was asked in this video was “whose fault is it?” Another question that has been posed in class is whose responsibility is it to fix these issues? There is no simple way to pinpoint who is at fault or who should fix it. We are all at fault, and we should all take responsibility and work to fix the issues and make learning more of a focus than I feel it is right now in the university setting. I feel that when Wesch made this video he was trying to ask his students how they felt about school and what obstacles they faced with just attending college. I don’t think he thought the project was going to be as big as it turned out to be. Wesch later opened an online poll where he found that there are many other students. Michaels Wesch’s three vides fit in to what Lloyd F. Bitzer explains to be a rhetorical situation. Bitzer says that a text must fit 7 of his guidelines in order to be a rhetorical situation. His first guideline is that it is a response to a situation. The response in this case is the videos to college situations as well as the internet’s hold on text. The guideline is that it must be a speech that gives a response or an answer or solution. In this case the video is a speech but there is no real answer or solution present.
the claims in your paper are understandable and relevent to the paper, i also understand the grounds for which you claim your argument, i didn't see any warrents, backings or qualifing statements. when talking about rhetorical text i found some backings for your argument. i liked the different perspective you had on the video, it was different then most students since your a athlete. i also did not see any rhetorical text relating back to the students. i think it needs alot of work but your off to a good start.
